One Month

( I realize that I'm a few days late, but I did write this out on the day she turned One Month old.)

My Sweet Chloe,
Today you are a month old! Your Daddy and I cannot believe it! You have already grown so much this month.

Things that have changed in this month;
When we first brought you home your hands were all wrinkly and red but now they are smooth and match the rest of your body.

A few weeks ago you hated your bouncer and swing but now you usually go to sleep soon after I put you in either one of them.
When you were in the hospital right after you were born they had us feeding you 15 ml every 2 hours (a little over 4 oz. a day). But now you drink 3-4 oz every 3 hours. You're still taking both formula and breast milk.

One of my favorite things to do with you right now is to give you a bath. You still cry when I wash your body but as soon as I start to wash your hair you stop crying and start closing your eyes and calming down. You love when I wash your hair! (I love it too!)

This past week you have started to make coo noises, It's adorable!

You are such a snuggle bug!! You love to snuggle up next to Daddy when he lays on the couch. You usually burrow your face in his chest.

 You have been in disposable diapers all month but we are about to start putting cloth diapers on you next week (you're actually big enough for them now.).

You were dedicated the day before we left Oklahoma. Everyone was so supportive and kind. Your Great-Grammy and Great Aunt Laurie even came! We promised in front of everyone to raise you in a way that would be pleasing to God.

We just moved into our own apartment and I am starting to get your room set up. I am so excited that you are going to have your own room. I can't wait to get everything set up in your room. I LOVE your crib it's so precious.

I cannot believe you have already been here an entire month! We love you so much Chloe. This month has been so life altering but so rewarding! We can't wait to watch you grow more and more into the woman God has you to be. I love you baby girl!

- Mommy

What I've learned since becoming a parent

As I was sitting in my room pumping I was trying to come up with a new blog entry.  I thought it would be a good idea to write about motherhood so far. I am obviously an expert since I've now been a mom for three weeks (please note the sarcasm). Oh and I'm sure I've heard mothers say all these things but I guess I'm more of a hands on learner...

What unconditional love actually means.

Imagine someone making you so frustrated that you want to scream and cry and then seconds later that same person making you so happy and proud that you completely forget how upset you were 5 seconds ago. I mean it's obviously easy not to hold a grudge when she doesn't understand what she's doing but still such an awaking to how Christ loves us.

Being a parent is not easy. 

I remember thinking in high school how cool it would be to have a baby. I even took one of those classes where you take those microchip babies home and have to takes care of it every time it cries. So unrealistic! There are times when Christopher and I have stretched to our limit and we have to find strength from some place deep inside. Chloe doesn't know how tired we are when she has gas all day or cries for no reason, but I do hope she learns very soon that Christopher and I are always here to help her when she needs us.

This season will one day end. 

The crying, the late nights and early mornings, the frustration of not knowing what is wrong, the diapers, the screams from my daughter as I change her clothes yet again, the checking every minute to see if she's still breathing, the breast pumping, all of it will one day fade away. As I sit here and imagine all of these things going away it gets me to thinking about all the other things that will go away with them. The sweet tiny cry she made her first week (that's already gone), the times I get to hold her and watch her sleep in my arms, the silly faces she makes without even trying, the sound of her breathing in her cradle next to me, the little baby sounds she makes, how teeny tiny she is, how proud I am when she lifts her head or finally burps, getting to put her in adorable outfits every day, when Christopher holds her with such gentleness. The more I hope for this tiring season to pass the more I see that the good will pass too. I need to make sure to breathe in this long, sleep deprived, season because it will be gone before I know it.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

I love being a Mommy and I love this girl so much!! Thanks for reading.

- Allie

Chloe Mayme: Birth Story

I went in with Christopher on Tuesday night at 8pm.

I had a scheduled induction. They wanted to give me some medication to soften my cervix before I was to be induced.

When we went in the receptionist had my paperwork right next to her, all ready for me. She told us to wait in the waiting room for a nurse to come and get us. We waited for what seemed like forever. There were two other groups in the waiting room with us. They were anxiously waiting for loved ones to deliver. It made me excited and anxious about what was to come.

When the nurse came I had butterflies in my stomach. Her name was Erika, and she was one of the prettiest, nicest people I have ever met. She put me right at ease with her smile and wonderful explanations. She walked us down to my delivery room.

Once we were down there I changed into my gown and answered some questions. They hooked up some monitors to watch my contractions compared to Chloe's heart rate and then gave me the first dose of medication to soften my cervix. I was told that it might start contractions. They then told me that I would get the other half in the morning around 1am. At this point I was not dilated at all.

At midnight I started having contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart. When 1 am arrived they decided not to give me the rest of the dose because I was having so many contractions. At 4 am my water broke as I was using the restroom. Let me just say, how disgusting it was! I am so glad I was in the hospital when it happened. Once my water broke they checked my cervix again and I was still not dilated.

At 5 am they started the pitocin (it's what actually induces labor). Once it started, my contractions were every minute, and they were terrible. They were a little worried for awhile because Chloe's heart rate sometimes  would drop after I would have a contraction. My nurse told me that if it kept happening that they would have to take me in for a C-section. They watched her heart rate all morning and it seemed to get better.

At noon they checked my cervix again and it was only dilated 2 centimeters. I was so frustrated and in so much pain. I had been having a contraction every other minute for 12 hours. My original plan was to not have an epidural. We didn't really have money for the epidural deposit so we had planned on going without. I told Christopher that I couldn't handle it any longer (especially if I was only 2 centimeters) and he asked the nurse if there was anyway we could still ask for the epidural.

About 10 minutes later I got an epidural and oh my goodness... Not only was I no longer in any pain, it sped labor up so quickly. I know there are strong opinions about epidurals but I just decided that it was what was best for our situation. I absolutely loved my epidural. I took a three hour nap and when I woke up it was time to push. 

While I was pushing my doctor told me that she could see her head but that she was having trouble coming out on her own. My doctor had to suction her out. (We later found out that Chloe had her hands in her face and it made it harder for her to come out on her own.)

The moment Chloe came out was so amazing. Seeing her for the first time gave me such a wave of wonderful emotions. She had so much hair and was so beautiful. She made a tiny little cry. She had to be rushed away so they could clear out her throat because she couldn't breathe because she had so much fluid in her throat. Christopher went with her and they brought her back a minute later (it seemed like a lot longer though). While they were cleaning her off all I could do was look at her while the doctor worked on me. They brought her to my chest and it was such a precious moment. I was finally holding my daughter in my arms. I cannot properly describe how amazing it was. She was so beautiful and perfect.

She was born at 5:07 pm and weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 20 inches long. She was healthy and here.

My second favorite moment was when I got to see the love of my life holding our daughter for the first time. His face was so priceless. He was so happy to finally get to feel his daughter in his arms.

We later were moved to a postpartum room and had some family and friends visit.

It's been five days since her birth and as tiring as these days have been I would not trade them for anything. All I can think about is how one day she will be all grown up and I will miss these sweet precious moments with her. I already want her to stay this tiny forever...

"Be still my beating heart..."

James 1:17

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

These pictures were taken by mdvisuals.

Induction Day Thoughts

My Dearest Daughter,

I am so excited to finally meet you! I am going in to the hospital tonight to start the induction process. I wanted to write to you about what your father and I are thinking and feeling, and maybe some advice to you in the future when or if you ever have children of your own.

Our thoughts are totally on you. We are so excited to finally get to kiss your cheeks and hold you in our arms. We already love you so much. Something that your father and I take great comfort in is that God loves you even more than we do.

Psalm 139:14-18

        I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

I hope you always know that no matter how scary something seems that God will always be right by your side. I am very scared about these next few days but I know as soon as I see you it will all be worth it. 

Your dad is worried about our safety. But I know God's ways are always higher than our ways. 

Your dad is taking such good care of me, calming me down, helping me practice breathing, and so much more. I hope that you find a man someday that is as wonderful to you, as your daddy is to me. He is such a caring man and I can't wait to see how he is with you. 

I cannot wait to develop a relationship with you Chloe. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. I don't want to make our relationship all about me. You are so precious to me and I want you to know that every single day of your life. I never want you to feel like you disappoint me. I hope you never have to question my love for you. I love you so much! 

You are already so strong and you haven't even been born yet. You are already in our hearts Chloe.

See you tomorrow, 

Love, your Mom

Anniversary

I would like to use this post to talk about my wonderful husband and our marriage.

Christopher is the best husband anyone could ask for. He is loving, supportive, and very hard working.

Christopher and I will be celebrating our third wedding anniversary tomorrow. And what a wonderful three years it's been.

Year One:

Our Wedding Day

Our first year was filled with so many changes. We had to grow up a lot that year. Some of my favorite memories of that time were of just the two of us in our tiny apartment.

I remember one time Christopher surprised me with candles all lit around our apartment. He took my hand and we danced  in to the night. (He's always been romantic like that :) )

Another memory I have from that year is cooking for Christopher and I. It was so much fun to try new recipes. I used to make him homemade pizza all the time, he loved it.

Year Two:

Our First Anniversary

Our second year was so different from our first. Our second year was filled with many ups and downs. Not necessarily in our marriage but in our financial situation. We had to make difficult decisions that eventually lead to where we are today. For the first half of our second year Christopher and I were working crazy hours and really never got to see each other. I know this may sound dumb but I NEED to spend time with my husband. We aren't one of those couples that do our own things all the time. He is my best friend and I am his. If I'm excited or upset about something there is no one in the entire world I want to talk about it with more than my husband. When I was at work I would be missing him. I eventually took a job where he worked just so I could be near him. I loved working with Christopher. He is such a hard worker. He always gives 100% when doing his job (which is hard to say about our generation sometimes.). He made me so proud at work! It was so nice to be able to be around him other than when we were going to bed or worrying about our bills at home.

Even though we finally got to be around each other the financial stress became too much to handle. Christopher and I prayed and prayed that God would provide. We were running out of money to pay for school (Our rent was part of that.). But we also knew if we didn't go back to school we would not have a place to live. If we could have stayed in that cheap apartment and take a semester off, I think we would have been fine. But it wouldn't make much sense for them to let us stay there without being enrolled.
   
When we visited my parents for Christmas before the next semester was to begin, my Dad came up with the idea of letting us move in for about a year, so we could save up some money and go back. So that's what we did. We moved in with my parents while Christopher took a few online classes. We went from being on our own to living in the same home I grew up in. Christopher got a job at QuikTrip and I took one as a "Nanny" (everyday babysitter). We didn't end up making as much as we did in Springfield, but at least we had a place to live.

With all of that being said, moving back in with my parents has both tested our marriage and made us stronger.

One of my favorite memories from this year was watching Christopher with the little girl I babysat. He was so sweet and understanding of her. When I would watch him play with her it made me know what a great father he would make one day.

Year Three:

Our Second Anniversary

Our third year was been very similar to our second but very different at the same time. When it was time for the fall semester to begin we knew that we were not financially ready to move back to Springfield. So we set our budget and goals on being able to return to Springfield fall of 2014. Christopher would only have two semesters to finish before he could graduate. The plan was for me to work full time that way he wouldn't have to worry about working. We could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. So we kept working and saving. We only had a phone bill to worry about so we knew we could make it. 

Right about the time you feel like you have control of your life God likes to remind you that you don't... 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding

In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

On November 30th, 2013 I took a pregnancy test... and it totally changed our comfy plans. Another fun thing we had happen was with our car. Our car totally pooped out and we had to buy a "new" one while we were visiting Christopher's family in St. Louis for Christmas. So we found out we were pregnant and got our first car and insurance payment all with in a month of each other... All I can do now is smile and shake my head. We were seriously starting to doubt if we could afford going back to Springfield. 

Earlier in December God had provided us with a trip to go down and visit some missionary friends in Mexico. As you probably know, Christopher and I want to be missionaries in Mexico one day. It was such a wonderful opportunity. It really set our hearts on fire for what we already knew, God wants us in Mexico one day. This trip could not have come at a better time. It was still early enough in the pregnancy that I could travel, we didn't have any kids to cart around (yet) and God knew what we would be going through with the car. God's timing is always perfect. Because of this trip we knew that if we trusted God, He would get us through this up coming year. 

Our Third Anniversary

The plan is still to move back to Springfield in August. Christopher is going to work full-time and go to school full-time while I stay home with our daughter. It is going to be such a hard year but once Christopher graduates it will be totally worth it. 

Our hope is for him to graduate in May and soon after find a missions intern position at a church somewhere and work while I finish my schooling online. 

This fourth year is going to be totally different with a baby, but there is no one I would rather be beside me than Christopher. 

34 Weeks

Dear, Chloe Mayme

Today you have been in my tummy for 34 weeks!

You are getting so big! I cannot believe that you will be here next month... it's crazy to think about.

A few weeks ago (you were 27 weeks in my tummy) your Daddy and I went to get a 4D ultrasound of you. You are so cute. When we went in you were snuggled up against me and you kept waving your umbilical cord in front of your face, so it was pretty hard to get a clear picture of you. But that's alright, we were happy we got to see you at all.  We even got a DVD of our session so we can watch you moving around. We love watching it! The place we went to get your ultrasound is called Tiny Blessing. They were so nice. We even got a stuffed elephant with a recording of your heart beat. Daddy loves to listen to it everyday.

A few weeks later we had your baby shower. So many people came to celebrate you Chloe (including your Aunt Emily and Grandma Kelly).  It's so amazing how many people care about you already. Aunt Stephanie decorated it for us and it was so cute (The pictures I have are on someone else's camera so I'll have to add those in later.)!! The color theme was mint and purple. Just like your room is going to be. She had cute painted mason jars with purple daisy's in them and little purple picture frames. There was also a head band and bow making area and everyone made cute stuff for your hair. It was so much fun!. 

Later that day we went with your Aunts, Uncle,and Grandma to the Oklahoma Aquarium. I can't wait to take you to fun places like the aquarium so you can see and learn new things. 

At my last appointment the doctor said you were doing great.
You move around so much now, your bottom and your feet are what I feel the most. You really like "dancing" a.k.a. kicking me in the rib, when your daddy is playing drums at church. I think you're going to like music.

When your daddy gets home from work and talks to me about his day, you always move around and kick me. I think you love the sound of his voice and you get happy when he is finally home.

I just recently stopped working and I have been getting our Oklahoma home as ready for you as possible. I have your cradle all set up in our room, I have a changing area made up for you, I even have a glider ready so I can feed and rock you. It's defiantly not a permanent solution but it will do until we move to Missouri.

Daddy and I have friends who just had a baby and he is so cute and tiny. We cannot wait until we get to hold you in our arms. 

We pray that you keep growing and stay healthy. Mommy and Daddy love you Chloe! We can't wait to finally meet you.

Love, Mommy

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

... And so little time...

Since I have been pregnant I feel like there are 101 things for me to get done and I have absolutely no energy to do them. Not to mention by the time I get a flicker of energy I forget what it was that I was supposed to be doing. So I decided to try to write them out somewhere that I can easily look at. So here are all the things that WE need to accomplish before Chloe gets here.

* Start (yep, I said start) packing for our move back to Springfield. 

- go through all of our stuff (boxes and all) and get rid of what we don't actually need.

- organize all of our things according to the rooms that they will go in once we get to MO.

(living room, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, and nursery)

- color code (get colorful tape) all of the boxes. 

* Separate what can be taken to Springfield now and what needs to stay with us until we actually move ourselves up there.

- designate a spot for all of Chloe's movable stuff and stuff that we need here. 

* Sign up for a childbirth class. 

* Get Springfield Apartment figured out

- best location (do we pick close to work or close to school?)

- best cost with good features and amenities (with washer and dryer, some utilities included... like water... that would be perfect!)

* Get Christopher enrolled in school

* Get Christopher's Job 100% settled

* Get all of Chloe's cloth diapers before we move. (There aren't as many options in Springfield as there are here... like none, I would have to buy them all online and that would stink)

* Get Chloe's nursery figured out.

- blanket

- crib skirt

- decor

- curtain(s)

* Pick a weekend at the end of May or beginning of June to move all of our "movable" stuff up to Springfield.   

- Call on utilities before we move up there.

- Ask friend or sister to check on our apartment every week. 

 * Price moving trucks (because there is absolutely no way that this pregnant woman can handle multiple trips to and from Springfield to move everything).

* Switch our bank accounts to national banks instead of local ones. 

- switch automatic withdraws for car payment and insurance. 

* Figure out how insurance changes once Chloe is born.

* Find a good pediatrician in Springfield.

* Find an Endocrinologist in Springfield

* Come up with my official Birth Plan

I know that everything will work out. God has everything in control and He is always guiding my steps. God gave me the best companion too. I am so blessed to have Christopher as my helper. It's nice to be able to depend on someone. He is already such an amazing father and husband. I am so blessed to call him mine.

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.